You think your in control?

There are just too many things to do these day. We are continuously bombarded by a barrage of“to dos” during the short waking time span of our busy days. In a society where we have lusted after and even structured our lives and dreams around having more “free” time, and more recreational time to pursue our dreams and hobbies, we now have less and less time to do any of those things. It’s all scheduled now. And you and I are probably taking less and less time off from our busy schedules for leisure. Ask any weekend warrior. Ask anyone what they want more of these days, and more often than not, their answer would be “time” or “money.” Of course, unless you are filthy rich, a celebrity, or an Arab in the oil business then of course you will always have a need for more money. But most of us are not in those positions and have so many things going on everyday we all wish we had more time. I think we are all trying to survive in our own ways. My life is a non-stop pedal bike of survival.

I spent the majority of my morning, this morning on my day off, today sitting in the waiting room of a car repair shop getting repairs done to my car. I can’t think of anyplace more boring that has an effect on you like an anesthetic (with the promise of putting you to sleep) than waiting in a repair shop waiting room. The walls are bare and dingy. The floor looks like its been there for 30 years. The magazines are usually car magazines or something like TIME or Sports Illustrated. There’s a vending machine full of peanuts and junk food. Oh joy The experience is second only to the DMV, no vending machines there....but at least you get to watch the circus of people around you while you also keep an ear open for your number to be called. The loudspeaker monotone that calls out the numbers does the opposite of the repair shop waiting room and jolts you awake rather than putting you to sleep as you salivate the minutes away hoping its your turn.

Still, I consider NOT being at work a GODSEND, and anything else that I can do or not do on my day off is something that is totally on my own terms. No matter what I have to do, or what I tell myself I need to accomplish, I can change it if I want to and not be in any disfavor for it. But is any day really on my own terms? I sometimes wonder. I think it’s a key issue in peoples lives today. The media has us convinced that we are in control and that we are extememly special. Yet in real life the opposite is more often the norm. They will tell you that you are special, you are entitled, you deserve it and that you can have it your way. You can stick up for yourself and not be persecuted for it. You can get upset if you feel you have been wronged. And you really can change things as well TV and movies are great brainwashers for that. The trouble is we all believe it That’s the hilarious part. In real life, you can’t have it your way most every where you go (unless you are on a remote island or extremely rich). You are not free to be yourself and do what you want when you drive down the street, you are not free to be yourself and do what you think is best when you are at work, and you are not free when you are anywhere outside of your own home. Its all governed by the enumerable rules, regulations and codes of behavior you must adhere to, more so nowadays than ever before. Even speaking a harsh word to your neighbor could land you in a law suit in today’s knee jerk overly sensitive politically correct conservative society. The illusion that you are in control is just that, an illusion...a mirage. Something they want you to believe. Something you yourself have convinced yourself of. What seems to happen is that you switch to that oblivious state of denial the minute you walk out your front door. You have to put on a smile for the world regardless of how you feel inside. Sometimes it just becomes automatic. Oh.....control.......we are all dying to have it. And we are all grasping at this invisible dream in this day to day existence.

So how do you gain an uncompromising position of control in today’s ruthless dog eat dog world? Good question. The answer could be definition, charisma, organization and tenacity. Knowing what you want and using all of your abilities to get it. Keeping on track as much as possible, and returning to your original plan if you get sidetracked. Keeping to your idea, even anticipating how it will unfold as you see it. And not allowing anyone to overstep their bounds with you. The variables involved are the enigma of life which are those unseen and unknown little shifts that can change everything in a moment. Sometimes its best not to be discouraged by them even if you see them as bad. It can be a little a thing as a change in plans, or as life changing as a death in your immediate family. You wake up with a splitting headache and it changes your whole plan for that day. You get in an accident on the way to work, have a flat tire or turn down a road with a long standing traffic delay. Maybe you loose your momentum for what you had planned on doing and end up accomplishing nothing. It’s endless the amount of annoying little changes can shift your entire day into another direction. But how can you stop them from coming? How can you stop them from crossing your path?

Sometimes your whole day just goes completely differently than what you had in mind. But what can you do about it? The best thing is not to get all bent about it, or mad at yourself about what you haven’t accomplished. The best thing to do is accept it, embrace it, and let it go. Try accepting that that is how your day went and tomorrow will be better. And control? Well, you can only control yourself.....even if you can’t control the world. In reality you are the only one you truly have any control over. Knowing that, in my opinion, the idea of control seems a futile excecise in frustration. Give it up.